Even In Death
by Gabs
Summary: Sequel to Breathe No More; Sarkney - all is not what it seems... {final chapter posted, questions answered.}
1. Chapter 1

Even In Death 

By Gabs

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, the Evanescence lyrics at the beginning of each chapter aren't mine, not making any money, etc etc.

_This is the sequel to my previous fic, **Breathe No More**, and picks up right where that one left off._

**Chapter 1**

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone_

I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong… 

_They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

~**Evanescence, _Even in Death_**

        Sark soon found himself sitting outside the home Will and Sydney had shared. He knew she wouldn't be there, but something still drew him in. Eventually, he shut off the engine of his car and walked up to the door. Will opened it a short time later, wearing only black sweat pants and looking as though he had just woken up. Sark frowned slightly.

        "What do you want?" Will questioned wearily.

        "Are you all right?" Sark asked cautiously. Will raised an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously.

        "What difference is it to you?"

        "None, I suppose." Will finally stepped aside and allowed Sark to enter.

        "You must have some reason for being here." Will stated.

        "Yes, I'm sure I must," Sark replied agreeably.

        "You're not going to tell me what," Will deduced.

        "I would… only I'm not quite sure of that reason myself."

        "Whatever," Will grumbled, walking back into the kitchen. Sark's mind traveled back to the note sitting in his glovebox, and he wondered how much he should reveal, if anything.

        "Mr. Tippin…" he began hesitantly. Will glanced up at him as he took a seat at the table.

        "What?"

        "Just keep in mind that all is not what it seems… death is only the beginning." Will's brow furrowed, and he frowned.

        "I don't understand," he admitted. Sark sighed lightly.

        "Somehow, I didn't imagine you would," he noted.

        "So you're telling me that you came here to say something to me with the full knowledge that I wouldn't quite catch on to your enigmatic meanings, and you have no intent of clarifying it?" Sark considered that for a moment before facing Will again.

        "Precisely." Will glared at him.

        "Damn it Sark, you know something, that's pretty obvious. Tell me what it is."

        "Mr. Tippin, believe it or don't, but I would rather like to tell you… only I don't quite know either."

        "So you don't even know what you're not going to tell me?" Will looked completely baffled as Sark nodded.

        "Exactly. Glad we understand one another."

        "Unders… I don't understand a thing you've said to me today!"

        "You will, in due time. Trust me, Mr. Tippin- and yes, I know you have absolutely no reason to, but do it anyway." Will ran a hand through his already messy hair before glaring up at Sark.

        "Fine. I don't know why, but I'll trust you on this… whatever it is." Sark nodded, then looked around the messy house. It was fairly obvious that Will hadn't given cleaning a second thought in the week since he had received the phone call.

        "Mr. Tippin, it was Socrates who once said 'Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.'" With that, Sark turned and walked away. As he opened the front door, a picture caught his eye, and he picked it up. It showed Will, Sydney, and Francie, all enjoying themselves together at Francie's birthday party. Sark frowned, reminding himself that he'd been partially responsible for taking that friendship away from Sydney and Will. Something else occurred to him, and he walked back to the kitchen area. There, he found Will straightening up the table. He looked startled as he caught sight of Sark.

        "I thought you'd left," he said.

        "I was going to… would you mind if I took a look around Sydney's room?"

        "You hardly need my permission for that." Sark shrugged lightly.

        "I thought it might be rather rude to go through your home without your consent."

        "Oh… well, have at it." Sark nodded to Will before showing himself to Sydney's room. Sark wandered around, quietly looking at various pictures and mementos. He made note of the fact that any pictures of Vaughn she may have had up before had since been removed. After a few more minutes of familiarizing himself with the room, Sark backed out and walked down the hall. He paused for a moment, observing Will as he put away dishes in the kitchen, before finally showing himself out. Will gave him a quick nod as Sark exited.

        The moment he was back in his car, he reached again for the mysterious note.  Sark studied it closely for a short time. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something off about it. He frowned, but decided to worry about that another time.

        The drive back to where he was staying- Le Montrose Suite Hotel- was short and relatively easy, with a surprisingly small amount of traffic. He was in room 94 on the 2nd floor. As he unlocked the door and walked in, he was instantly on his guard. Someone else was there; he could feel it. He slowly drew his gun and approached the bedroom area; his jaw dropped as he caught sight of her sitting on the bed.

        "Hello, Adam."


	2. Chapter 2

****

Chapter 2

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We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where love is more than just your name

~**Evanescence**, Anywhere

"How did you get in here?" Sark asked quietly.

"It was hardly difficult," she replied in the same tone. Sark didn't lower his gun, nor move at all, simply stood there staring at her.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"How do you think I got in here?" Sark sighed, finally letting his guard down and dropping the gun.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, a mixture of hurt and anger coloring his tired voice.

"Tell you what?"

"Damn it Sydney, don't play these games with me! Please… just, don't." She finally stood up and crossed the room, stopping in front of him. Sark frowned to himself, sensing something odd about her movements. He brushed the thought aside as she spoke.

"Adam… look at me. I'm here, now, with you. That's the important thing, it's all that really matters. Whatever happened… is it such a big deal?"

"Yes, it is Sydney, but only because I don't feel like you trust me enough to tell me everything."

"That's not it at all, Adam."

"So what is it?" he questioned.

"Can we please just not talk about this right now?" She saw the combination of disappointment and hurt appear in his eyes before he quickly wiped it away. "I will tell you, I promise, but I can't… I mean, I'm not up to it right now. Please, just trust me." Sark frowned guardedly, but nodded his assent. 

"Fine."

"Thank you," she whispered. He nodded again, taking a step back to observe her for a moment.

"Sydney… are you all right?" she looked up at him warily.

"Why do you ask?"

"Something seems… different. Off… I don't know."

"You mean aside from the whole 'oops, I'm dead' part?" she asked glibly. He gave her a look, and she shrugged.

"That wasn't funny."

"Who says it was meant to be?"

"Ok, let's make a deal- I won't ask you any questions until you're ready for them, and you'll stop playing these little games, whatever the point is."

"Adam, I'm not playing any games," she said seriously. He glared at her again, but she didn't blink. He sat down abruptly, running a quick hand over his short hair before looking up at her again.

"Sydney, I've spent the past seven days believing the only person I've ever truly loved was dead. It took three days before I could finally force myself to go to your grave and speak to you. Earlier today, I stood there and told you everything I wished I could've said to you before. It ripped me apart, Sydney; it was the most painful thing I have _ever_ had to do, saying goodbye to you." He paused, noticing the tears building in her eyes, as well as those threatening the corners of his own. Ignoring the feeling, he carried on. 

"In that moment, I thought about the future- my future, without you. It was empty, Sydney, and there was nothing there for me. I've never experienced anything like this… and then, to have you reappear in my hotel room, acting more like an occasional business associate than the woman I love… I can't handle it." Sark quickly turned his face away from Sydney, feeling vulnerable and exposed after showing more of himself to her than he ever had to anyone.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly. Sark rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ward off the encroaching headache.

"And what about the other people you care about? Will, Agent Vaughn, Agent Weiss… everyone else? Are they to simply continue thinking that you're dead again? After everything they must have been through last time?" Sydney looked away, not saying anything. There was a long silence before Sark frowned and stood up.

"You're acting very odd, Sydney." She turned and walked to the window, staring out silently for a moment.

"What do you expect me to say, Adam?" she questioned hoarsely; he realized she was struggling to hold back her tears, but repressed the urge to comfort her.

"It's not about what I expect… it's about what needs to be done, and what you need to say, not what I need to hear." Sydney kept her eyes focused on something outside the window, and Sark sighed tiredly. "All right… if you'll not tell me, then allow me to see if I can't piece it all together." At that, Sydney finally turned around, looking at him with a mix of apprehension and curiosity. But still, she said nothing, and Sark's frown deepened. "Now, based upon what I know- which, granted, is not very much- here's the theory I've come up with. We'll start with a certain phone call Mr. Tippin received one week ago…"

__

"I'm sorry to have to tell you, Mr. Tippin. Sydney Bristow is dead." Sark was dumbstruck, and easily understood why Will had collapsed to the floor.

"What… what do you mean? What happened? Who is this?"

"Agent Pierce, CIA. There was an accident 20 minutes ago, involving Miss Bristow and a hit and run driver. An unidentified female called Agent Weiss, and after he had confirmed it, he instructed us to call you. I was-" whatever else he said was lost as Sark hung up the phone and slowly sat down next to Will, who was staring ahead numbly.

"Not again… damn it, no! Not again…" he whispered, almost to himself. Sark didn't reply, instead shutting his eyes in an effort to block the pain.

By this time, a few small tears had managed to escape and trail down Sydney's face. Sark felt the urge to brush them away, but something stopped him. He instead turned and walked to the opposite side of the room, his back to her.

"After that, I holed myself up in here for a few days… I couldn't bring myself to attend your funeral, though that would have been a bit difficult anyway with all the CIA agents lurking about. But that's not what's important right now." He faced her again, pausing briefly to gather his thoughts. "Now, what I surmise is that the mysterious woman who called Agent Weiss? It must have been your mother. Who else would be able to get through to a specific CIA agent, report that, and remain unidentified? Of course, that doesn't quite explain how the two of you managed to fake your death, nor how you convinced Agent Weiss and the rest of the CIA- not that they're difficult to fool, of course… But still, in spite of those admittedly gaping holes, I'd say it all fits rather nicely. Now, if you'd be so kind as to fill it all in for me… or, if I'm completely off the mark, I'd appreciate knowing that too." Sydney frowned, staring at him with an unreadable look. Eventually, he nodded slightly, taking a few steps closer to her. 

"I suppose I could always call Irina…" he said thoughtfully, reaching into his pocket to withdraw his cell phone.

"No… don't," Sydney said quietly. Sark looked at her, surprised.

"Ah… she speaks," he noted dryly.

"Look… just trust me, please? I took your word for it when all you would ever tell me was 'you'll know,' so please have faith in me now." They stared at one another for a long moment before he finally nodded.

"All right. But Sydney, you'll have to trust me eventually."

"I do trust you, and you will know… just not right now."

"Fine. What happens next? The proverbial ball is in your court now, Sydney."

"I think… it's not safe to stay here, in LA. We should probably move on, try to get as far away as we can… maybe even leave the country altogether." Sark indicated his single packed suitcase at the foot of his bed.

"That was my plan as well. I was going to get out of here as soon as I finally managed to go talk to you."

"Good. Shall we?" He looked at her curiously.

"Did you bring any clothing?"

"No. I haven't seen anyone else since…" she trailed off, and he nodded his understanding.

"We can stop somewhere and get you some," he offered.

"Uh… I'd prefer to just get as far away as we possibly can, as fast as we can." He raised any eyebrow, but nodded again.

"Whatever you wish. I've got a few more things to pack, it'll just be a minute."

"I'll go wait for you by your car."

"All right. It's right over there, next to those trees," he called over his shoulder as he went into the bathroom.

"Ok… see you in a few." A short time later, he had checked out and gone down to meet Sydney by his car. He found her already in the passenger seat, keeping a cautious eye on everything around her.

"I didn't even hear you leave the room," Sark noted as he started the car. She gave him a look, and he smirked. "Yes, yes… super spy and all that, I know. Where to?" he questioned as they pulled onto the freeway.

"Anywhere but here…" Sydney said quietly.

"All right then… anywhere it is."

  
Thanks for all the reviews! :-D Sorry it took so long, had some monster computer problems- think **_two_** dying on me within 3 months- but now all is well, so hopefully updates should be much more frequent from now on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

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I reach but I feel only air at night.  
Not you, not love, just nothing.  
I run to you,  
Call out your name,  
I see you there, farther away…

**Evanescence**, Farther Away

Two hours and 100 miles later, Sark and Sydney were casually discussing possible destinations, mostly centering on Europe. It had taken him quite a bit of time and effort on the early part of their drive, but Sark had eventually gotten Sydney to relax, and began to see her acting more like the woman he knew, rather than the familiar stranger that had been in his hotel room.

"How about Austria? Or maybe Switzerland, that's nice this time of year, isn't it?" Sark gave her an amused sideways glance.

"Sydney, when _isn't_ Switzerland nice?" At his comment, a grin covered Sydney's face, the first true smile he'd seen from her in a long while, he mused. She continued looking out the window, watching the world fly by while still ruminating on where else they could go. After a few moments of silence, he heard Sydney laugh lightly; shortly thereafter, she turned to look at him again.

"I've got it: Liechtenstein." He glanced at her sharply, curiously.

"Liechtenstein?" he repeated. Sydney nodded, looking quite serious.

"Yes. Adam, let's go to Liechtenstein."

"Ok Sydney, why Liechtenstein?" She paused for a few moments, contemplating her answer.

"Because… it's different."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I did indeed hear you, but I don't follow."

"Ok. People escape to Europe and whatnot, they usually go for France, Germany, England- one of the bigger ones. Liechtenstein is just… different." Sark turned to stare at her briefly before returning his eyes to the road ahead of them. Sydney kept her eyes on him, awaiting a response.

"So you're telling me that the sole reason for choosing Liechtenstein is… that?" Sydney shrugged lightly, finally turning to look out the window once again.

"Pretty much. Is that a problem?"

"Well, aside from being decidedly bizarre and perhaps a bit out of character… no. No problem at all." Sydney smiled.

"Glad to hear it." They lapsed into a comfortable silence before Sydney eventually looked at him again, a question in mind.

"Are we going anywhere in particular?" He shook his head.

"No. My goal for tonight is simply to get out of California; once that's been accomplished, we can figure out a more sold plan."

"Oh. Ok." 

"Sydney?" He waited until he had her complete attention before speaking again. "Are you all right?"

"Fine. Why?"

"You don't quite seem yourself."

"You keep saying that."

"You keep giving me reason to say it." Sydney frowned lightly.

"Am I really? Acting that strange, I mean?" Sark sighed.

"Yes… and no."

"How so?" She pressed.

"You're undeniably different from the woman I fell in love with, but at the same time, you have very little memory of our time together- how could I possibly expect you _not_ to be different?" he reasoned.

"Does that…" Sydney paused to gather her thoughts, gently biting her lip as she tried to put them into words. "Do you wish I was still the same as I used to be, when we were together before?" Sark glanced at her curiously, wondering about her line of questioning.

"That's… a hard question to answer, Sydney," he said truthfully.

"I know," she replied, almost apologetically. Long moments passed in silence as he thought about his response.

"I miss it. I miss what we had, I miss the trust. But you? You're still you, Sydney. Different, yes, but everyone changes; it's inevitable. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to say I wouldn't love for things to be the way they used to be, but I know that's a time long since passed, and I can accept that. But no matter what happens, I love you Sydney, and nothing can ever change that." He kept his eyes focused on the highway, steadfastly refusing to look at her. He was somewhat surprised with the words that had spilled from his own mouth; never before had he opened up so much to anyone, not even Sydney, and here he'd poured his heart out twice in one day. He gave her a surreptitious glance out of the corner of his eye, and found her to be staring ahead pensively, apparently considering his words.

"Thank you," she whispered after a lengthy silence.

"For what?" Sark questioned.

"Just… being you."

"Well, I can't very well be anyone else, now can I?" Sydney smiled lightly.

"No, I don't suppose you can." They fell into another amicable silence, with Sydney occasionally pointing out things she found interesting along the side of the highway. Eventually, Sark caught sight of a road sign he'd been waiting to see.

"We should be reaching Nevada fairly soon, Sydney. Would you prefer to stop not long after that, or keep going until it's dark?"

"Are you tired at all? I mean, do you want or need to stop?" When Sark shook his head, she continued. "Then I'd rather prefer to keep going. The more distance between us and LA, the better." He gave Sydney a quizzical look, but nodded in assent.

"That should give us another hour or so before it's time to stop," he noted.

"Great," Sydney replied with a brief smile.

"Do you miss any of it?" Sark asked suddenly.

"Miss any of it?" Sydney repeated, looking baffled.

"Yes… do you regret leaving?"

"Oh, you mean do I miss LA, the CIA, all that?"

"Yes."

"I don't," Sydney replied with certainty. Sark frowned slightly.

"You don't miss any of it?" he pushed, recalling Will's reaction when he'd received the phone call.

"No."

"I find that both odd, and a bit hard to believe." Sydney turned and stared at him, looking confused.

"Why's that?" she questioned somewhat harshly.

"You left behind the only life you truly know, and for the 2nd time, people you love are being forced to mourn your death… and I'm supposed to believe you're perfectly ok with that?"

"Adam, I'm here with you, and that's all that matters." His frown deepened almost imperceptibly, and he offered her no reply. With a light sigh, Sydney once again stared out the window, her back partially turned.

Sark brought his right hand up to tiredly rub his jaw, feeling somewhat guilty for doubting Sydney. Noticing her left hand resting on her thigh, fingers occasionally tapping in mild annoyance, he decided that would be the way to mend things before it got out of control. As he reached out to take hold of her hand, she pulled away slightly. A quick glance at her face showed that she didn't seem to realize she'd done it; it was evidently an unconscious action. His frown returned in full force, and he alternated watching the road and looking at Sydney. Her eyes never strayed towards him, and his confusion with her behavior only grew deeper. He finally retracted his hand, resting it on the steering wheel and sighing in frustration.

This finally drew Sydney's attention, and her curious expression quickly focused on him. He of course noticed her look, but chose not to acknowledge it, keeping strictly focused on his driving. After a few moments, Sydney turned away again, and Sark finally risked a quick glance at her. She'd closed her eyes, and he almost thought she might have fallen asleep until she spoke.

"How much longer?" 

"Not much… perhaps 20 minutes," he replied.

"I assume we'll be finding a hotel of some sort?" Sark nodded.

"Most likely one of the… less than five star places. If, for some reason, anyone came in search of me, I dare say the first places they would check would be the top of the line hotels."

"I agree," Sydney said softly.

"Boulder City is just ahead," Sark noted, pointing out a sign to his left.

"Is that where we're stopping?"

"Yes. I suspect we're nearing the Arizona border; if we get up and go at a decent time in the morning, we should cross it by noon."

"Adam?"

"Yes?"

"Are you… it's just, you seem a bit paranoid. Do you think there's someone tailing us? Or is it just cautionary measures?"

"I'm fairly certain no one followed us from Los Angeles; even if they had, there's no way they're still with us. But I'm not taking any chances right now." A short time later, they pulled into the parking lot of the Boulder Dam Hotel. Sark stepped out, took a moment to survey their surroundings, and then stretched carefully. When he turned around, he saw Sydney standing in front of the car, looking at the small building in front of her.

"It looks pretty decent," she observed as Sark grabbed his bag out of his trunk.

"Shall we?" he questioned.

"We shall," Sydney replied, falling in step with him as he walked into the small but welcoming hotel lobby. While Sark went to the front desk to get a room for them, Sydney took a few moments to wander the lobby, studying the images on the walls. Sark watched her out of the corner of his eye, taking joy in her fascination with the works. She finally moved over to stand next to him just as Scott, the man at the front desk, was managing to dig up a room key.

"Here we are- room 14. Enjoy your stay," he said with a smile. Sark took the key, giving Scott a look of scrutiny in the process.

"I'm not sure he even looked at you once," Sark noted in confusion as he and Sydney entered their room.

"Well, maybe you're more his type," Sydney suggested playfully. Sark rolled his eyes. 

"Somehow I doubt that. Or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part. Either way, I'm going to take a shower now." 

When Sark reentered the room ten minutes later, it was to find Sydney sprawled out on the single bed in the room, still fully dressed and on top of the covers, but already well into sleeps embrace. With a sigh, he draped himself across the couch as comfortably as he could possibly get and slowly slipped into a night of uneasy sleep and haunting dreams.

Sorry it took so long! I don't even really have a valid reason this time. Just hope some of you are still with me, and keep your thoughts coming- I love to hear what you're all thinking could happen.


	4. Chapter 4

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"I'm going to take a shower now."

When Sark reentered the room ten minutes later, it was to find Sydney sprawled out on the single bed in the room, still fully dressed and on top of the covers, but already well into sleeps embrace. With a sigh, he draped himself across the couch as comfortably as he could possibly get and slowly slipped into a night of uneasy sleep and haunting dreams.

Chapter 4

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My love for you still grows  
This I do for you  
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

**Evanescence**, Understanding

When Sark awoke the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that Sydney was no longer asleep on the bed. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock to see that it was just after 6:00. He frowned, then yawned, wondering where she was and how long she'd been up. He stood up from the couch and checked the bathroom; finding it empty, he continued towards the balcony. After a brief battle, the sliding door creaked open, quickly but loudly. Sark stepped out to find Sydney giving him a bemused look.

"Now Sydney, how on earth did you manage to open that without waking me?"

"Super spy skills," she whispered dramatically, offering him a wink.

"Well, I'm glad the CIA taught you something useful," he muttered sarcastically. Sydney laughed dryly.

"Yeah… that's a talent that'll take me far in life."

"How long have you been up?" Sark questioned, leaning against the handrail and looking at her curiously.

"Not very," she replied. "I may have woken you up coming out here, actually."

"I see. Ready to go soon?"

"Sure, ready whenever you are, I guess," she spoke hesitantly, which Sark noticed.

"Sydney? What is it?"

"Well… you said last night that we're not in a hurry or anything, right?"

"Yes… I'd prefer to get out of America as soon as we can, but I'm reasonably comfortable now that we're away from LA. Why? Would you like to stay longer?"

"No, not here. But I'd love to stop somewhere else an hour or two along and just relax today, maybe go out and do something tonight." Sark raised an eyebrow uncertainly.

"Sydney, you are, for all intents and purpose, dead to the world. I'm just not sure that we should take the risk of being seen so soon after this all happened."

"But you just said yourself, you're not too worried."

"I didn't say that; believe me, I'm still plenty worried. Stopping and spending the day at a decent hotel, I would be fine with. Going out 'on the town' later tonight? I truly don't think it's such a good idea." Sydney sighed, and Sark hurried to finish what he was saying. "Listen, if all goes according to plan, we'll be out of here and somewhere in Europe-"

"In Liechtenstein," Sydney interjected.

"Right… in Liechtenstein. Ok, we'll be in Liechtenstein in 48 hours; once we're there, we can go out and do something different every night if you wish. But as long as we're still in America, we do need to keep a relatively low profile. It may be slim, but there's still every chance one of us could be spotted by someone, and I'm not willing to risk that, not after I just got you back."

"Ok," she said reluctantly. "Can't say I like it, but I do understand it. Can I at least talk you into an oh so romantic dinner at the hotel diner?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"It's a date," Sydney grinned.

"It certainly is. Now, shall we get out of here?"

"Absolutely." Sark led her into the room, where he gathered his few belongings and straightened up quickly. "Did you wish to shower before we left?" Sydney shook her head. "Breakfast?"

"Nah, let's just hit the road… the sooner we're out of here, the sooner we get to stop and enjoy the day somewhere else." Sark offered a light smile before opening the door and motioning for her to go out. A few moments later, they were approaching the front desk, and Sark hesitated slightly as he recalled Sydney's words from the previous night. He heard her snickering behind him, and shot a glance over his shoulder. She gave him an innocent smile in return.

"I still think you're more his type…" she whispered.

"That isn't funny, Miss Bristow," Sark mumbled as he stepped forward again. Scott, the same man as last night, was there once again, and he offered a friendly smile as he saw Sark.

"Checking out?"

"Yes," Sark replied in a clipped tone. Scott nodded and turned to his computer. A minute later, he faced Sark and smiled again. "Thanks for choosing the Boulder Dam Hotel." He then turned his smile to someone next to Sark, who turned to see Sydney nodding to Scott. As they walked out, he caught sight of another woman stepping up to the desk. She gave him an odd look, and he quickly turned away and hurried after Sydney, who was already standing by the car waiting.

"Something catch your eye?" she questioned teasingly. Sark gave her a flustered look before popping the trunk and setting his bag inside. When he closed it a moment later, he noticed that Sydney was now in the car, watching him through the back window. He shook his head and climbed in, giving her a sideways glance as he started the car.

"So… we're off," he stated simply.

"To see the wizard?" Sydney questioned. He gave her another look as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know any wizards."

"Oh. Well, a good hotel will be an acceptable replacement, I suppose."

"Most generous of you." Sydney didn't reply, just laughed to herself, and settled back for another long drive.

"Are we there yet?" she questioned twenty minutes later. Sark gave her a quick, semi-worried look.

"We've never been on a road trip like this together… please, don't tell me you make that a regular habit." Sydney grinned mischievously, but would neither confirm nor deny his fear.

"Hey, Adam?" she said quietly ten minutes after.

"Hmmm?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Sydney!" Sark groaned. A short time later, she again gave him a sly look before clearing her throat.

"Adam?" This time he ignored her, and she frowned as she realized he wasn't going to cooperate. "Adam? Hey, Adam?" she pressed. He continued focusing on the road in front of them, not even giving her a sideways glance.

"I promise I'm not going to ask if we're there yet," she swore, and he finally turned to her briefly.

"Very well. What is it?"

"Are we-" he gave her a warning look, and she winked in return before continuing with, "going to stop soon?"

"Sydney!"

"What? I didn't ask the other question, and that was all I promised."

"That's cheating," Sark declared.

"What? No it isn't."

"Yes it is. Sydney, I know cheating, and that was most certainly cheating."

"Was not," she mumbled, causing him to smirk.

"To answer your cheater question, yes, we should be stopping in the next twenty minutes."

"That's great. I'm looking forward to a quiet, relaxing day. If anyone disrupts it, you'll just have to kill them," she stated matter-of-factly.

"_I'll_ have to kill them?" Sark repeated dubiously.

"Of course. You don't expect me to do it, do you? Besides, you're better at it than I am." Sark gazed at her uncertainly.

"I'm not sure if I should feel offended, worried, or backhandedly complimented."

"Take it as a compliment," Sydney suggested.

"Quite possibly the strangest I've ever received, in that case," Sark noted. Sydney offered up another devious smile, and Sark rolled his eyes in return.

"Stopping there?" Sydney questioned as she caught sight of a small, relatively isolated hotel just up the road.

"Yes."

"Adam, how do you know all these hotels and motels?" she asked curiously.

"I had, shall we say, an exit strategy in mind after you… died. After I went to your… grave, I was going to follow a very similar route to the one we've taken thus far."

"That's… borderline creepy," Sydney stated.

"I suppose… but then, so is your refusal to tell me what happened, how you ended up in this car next to me instead of in that grave," he replied as he pulled into the hotel parking lot. Sydney gave him a semi-annoyed look, but he didn't flinch.

"You promised you would trust me," she said simply.

"And I do, Sydney, more than I've ever trusted anyone. But the farther away from it we get, the more you seem disinclined to even think about what happened, much less tell me anything about it."

"And how do you know what I think about, hmmm? Can you read minds now too?" It was Sark's turn to level an annoyed look towards her.

"Sydney-" she quickly cut him off.

"Don't. Adam, you promised you would trust me, and I in turn promised I would tell you everything in time. If you can't trust that I'll do that when I feel comfortable doing so, why on earth should I trust you enough to tell you any of it?" Sark, who had already parked the car and shut off the engine, leaned back and shut his eyes in frustration.

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly. "I do trust you Sydney, but I don't feel that you truly trust me. I just don't see how withholding something like this from me can in anyway prove anything good."

"I know it doesn't make sense… believe me Adam, I understand how completely ridiculous it seems. But there's a reason for it all, and- I'm sure you don't want to hear this- but if you just trust me, it'll all be explained in due time."

"You're right, I don't want to hear that," he sighed. "However, if that's all I can get from you, I'll leave the matter alone until some other time."

"Thank you," Sydney said sincerely. Sark nodded, then opened his door and walked around to open Sydney's. She offered a smiled as she got out and stretched. "So what's the plan? Relax here today and get an early start tomorrow?"

"Not as early as we did today… we can sleep in until nine if you'd like to."

"That might be kinda nice," Sydney laughed. Sark popped the trunk and grabbed his bag, then motioned for Sydney to take the lead. She walked into the lobby through the open door and headed for the front desk. Sark snickered to himself as he caught sight of the clerk. Sydney faltered slightly, and looked back at him curiously.

"What is it?"

"Well, seeing as it's a woman this time, I was just thinking, perhaps [I]_you'll_[/I] be more her type," he whispered playfully. Sydney's jaw dropped, and she glanced at the desk nervously. "Look, she's already glancing over here," Sark added.

"You're crazy," Sydney stated plainly.

"Perhaps… but what if I'm right?" she arched an eyebrow and shook her head.

"Fine… you go talk to her."

"Chicken, Miss Bristow?"

"No… you have the money."

"I could very easily hand it to you."

"And you have an ID with an alias on it. I don't."

"You're cheating again," Sark mumbled as he went past her and up to the counter.

"Is everything ok?" the woman asked uncertainly.

"Just fine, ma'am," Sark replied, putting on his best general American accent. "I need a room for two for the night."

"Yes sir, I'll see what we have open. On some kind of road trip, I take it?" she asked conversationally.

"Yes ma'am, we're heading out east to visit her family before our wedding." She looked at him curiously before handing over a key.

"Room 12, just down the hall to your left."

"Thank you kindly," Sark said with a smile.

"We also have a pool and spa just outside those doors there, and complimentary continental breakfast at 8:30 if you're interested." Sark gave her a nod.

"All right… uh, that's cool." He turned and found Sydney already heading down the hall towards their room.

"Cool?" she repeated as he caught up to her. "I don't think I've ever heard you use that word, ever."

"I don't think I've ever heard myself use it," he muttered. A moment later, he had opened the door and was investigating the room, while Sydney was at the window eyeing the pool.

"Lets go for a swim," she suggested excitedly.

"Fine… may I finish inspecting the room first?" Sydney sighed dramatically.

"If you must…"

"Yes, I certainly must." Ten minutes later, he was satisfied, and he walked up behind Sydney to take in the pool area. "I'm ready to go if you are." She grinned at him and gave an enthusiastic nod.

"Well then, let's get going!"

"Sydney, wait…" Sark said thoughtfully. She paused at the door and glanced back at him.

"Yes?"

"You didn't bring any bags with you," he noted.

"No, I sure didn't."

"Meaning you don't have any kind of swimsuit."

"Correct again." Sark frowned in confusion.

"Then just what are you…" he paused and his brow lifted in understanding. "Don't tell me you're intending to go out their in your undergarments." She grinned impishly.

"After how long I was in the CIA, I'm hardly shy about that."

"But… what about other guests, what if they see you?" Sydney rolled her eyes and laughed at him.

"Adam, please… first of all, did you look around when we were parking, or checking in? This place is deserted… the only other person here is that lady at the front desk, and if she looks at me funny, you can kill her for me- defend my honor or something. And second, in case you missed it, I've gotten somewhat used to strangers seeing me in… that manner of undress." Sark frowned again. "Besides which, did you happen to bring any swimwear with you?"

"Well, no, but I've also no intention of parading around like that."

"I'm hardly parading, I just want to go for a nice relaxing swim, and then lay out in the sun for a while. Is that so much to ask?"

"Of course not," he sighed. "It's just that…"

"It's just that you're paranoid," she interjected.

"Well… yes, essentially." Sydney laughed.

"I didn't expect you to admit it."

"I might as well, it's certainly true. Now, are we going swimming or what?" Sydney smiled.

"Thought you'd never ask… what are you wearing?"

"I have a pair of shorts… that'll do," he said with a shrug. Sydney looked at him curiously.

"You know, I somehow never figured you as a shorts kinda guy."

"I'm generally not, and I don't even remember the last time I wore these, but it's always good to be ready for such occasion as this."

"When you put it that way, it sounds so… serious."

"Of course… swimming is always a very serious undertaking." Sydney rolled her eyes.

"Right… sure." Sark smirked as he began rifling through his bag in search of his shorts.

"I'll meet you out there," Sydney called as she left. Sark waved towards her, but didn't look up from his hunt. Five minutes later, he had changed and was walking out to the pool, where he could already see her swimming lazy circles.

"Enjoying yourself?" he questioned as he walked past.

"Very much so. Black shorts? Adam, you really need some color in your wardrobe." He looked at her suspiciously.

"No, I really don't, and please don't get any ideas." She smiled innocently as she swam away. Shaking his head, Sark set his towel down and stepped into the pool.

"Not going to take your sunglasses off?" Sydney questioned.

"No, why? Are you going to suggest I need more sun?"

"Well… actually, yes, I am," she replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

"That was mature. And I might add, you're looking rather pale yourself." She stuck her tongue out again, and Sark cocked his head.

"Really Sydney, is that the best you can do?"

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" He shook his head again.

"Not at all." He eased the rest of the way into the water and began slow laps across the pool. When he was finished, he wiped his eyes and noticed Sydney was now stretched out on one of the chairs, eyes closed and a content look on her face. He pulled himself out of the pool and sat in the chair next to her. Turning her head, she cracked one eye open and gave him a light smile.

"This is good," she said softly.

"What, the chair?" he queried, and her smile grew wider.

"No, I mean this… us… right now. It's good, don't you think?" he smiled and leaned back, looking up at the cloudy sky above them.

"Yes, I do. It's very nearly perfect," he agreed. She nodded and closed her eyes again, leaning back and seemingly falling asleep. A short time later, she sat up, then stood and stretched. Sark looked at her questioningly.

"I'm just going to run back to the room for a few… I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting." Sark went back to watching the clouds traverse the sky, and allowed his eyes to slide shut, feeling more relaxed than he could ever recall being. A few moments later, he heard soft footsteps coming back out, and he smiled slightly as he waited for Sydney to speak. His smile dissolved into a frown as he realized that he was hearing the sound of shoes, not bare feet. He sat up quickly and alertly, eyes going straight for the hotel door. His face twisted into a look of confusion as he saw who was really there.

"I don't understand… what are you doing here? How did you find us?" he demanded as he stood up cautiously.

"Adam, we need to talk," she said gently.

"I'm not arguing with that, I quite agree, as a matter of fact. I have plenty of questions that I'm sure you can answer. However, that doesn't answer mine."

"I'm here _because_ we need to talk. As for how I found you, it wasn't terribly difficult, not for someone who knows you as well as I do." He nodded slightly.

"Fine." He slowly sat down and looked up at her expectantly, still not removing his sunglasses. "I'm all ears, Irina- what is it you wanted to talk about?" His gaze drifted to the window of the room he and Sydney shared, and he instantly spotted her standing there, looking somewhere between shocked and terrified. His frown deepened and he turned back to Irina. "No, wait, let me guess… it has something to do with Sydney."

"Yes, it does, and I'd prefer if we discussed this somewhere a little more private."

"I have a room. Will that do?"

"It's the best we'll get here, so yes, that's fine. What number is it?"

"Room 12, left side of the hallway."

"I need to get some things from my car. I'll meet you in there." With that, she turned on her heel and walked away, and Sark noticed the uneasy look the desk clerk gave her as Irina went past. With a frustrated sigh, he stood up and went inside, not acknowledging the woman's curious look as he headed down the hallway.

"Sydney, Irina's going to be in here any moment," he called as he opened the door to their room. He frowned, not catching sight of her anywhere, and began wondering if his theories on Irina helping to fake her death were, in fact, way off base. Another idea occurred to him, and his breath caught in his throat as he realized how possible it was. He dressed quickly and sat down to think.

"What if that accident wasn't an accident? What if Irina was somehow responsible for Sydney almost dying?" He rubbed his forehead, sighing in aggravation. "But that doesn't make sense… why would she do that? But why else would Sydney have such a reaction?" Hearing footsteps approaching his door, Sark quickly grabbed a gun from his bag and held it up. Irina stopped short as she opened the door and saw him.

"Sark…" she said warningly.

"No, don't try anything. You have a lot of explaining to do, Irina, and not a lot of time to start. Shut the door and start talking." When Irina didn't move, Sark clenched his teeth and focused the gun on her forehead. "Now," he said in a deadly quiet tone.

"Sark… Adam, put the gun down, and listen to me."

"No! Now the last thing I wish to do is alert the clerk by firing a round, but if you don't start explaining yourself right now, I won't hesitate." As if to prove his point, he took a step closer and aimed the gun at her knee.

"That's not necessary. Adam, have I ever given you reason to doubt me before? Ever?" He hesitated, but slowly shook his head.

"No. But this is different."

"Yes, it is different. In this scenario, you should trust me even more."

"How do I know you didn't have anything to do with the accident?" he demanded. At this, Irina's face went blank, but her eyes filled with rage, and she slowly shut the door behind her.

"Because Sydney's my daughter, Adam, and I love her more than you will ever begin to fathom. If you ever imply anything like that again, I will kill you, have no doubt about that." Sark slowly lowered his gun, and looked down momentarily.

"But you do know what happened?"

"Of course I do. I was there." Sark tossed his gun into his bag and looked up at her again. She nodded to him, then motioned to the bed. "Sit down… we have a lot to talk about."

---------------------------

Next update will be the final chapter, and I'm hoping it'll be up soon… sorry this one took so long, something happened in my personal life in June and fics became quite unimportant on my list of priorities. To make up for the wait, this update is about three times as long as my normal length. ;-)

Thanks for those who stick with me!


	5. Epilogue

__

"But you do know what happened?"

"Of course I do. I was there." Sark tossed his gun into his bag and looked up at her again. Irina nodded to him, then motioned to the bed. "Sit down… we have a lot to talk about."

****

Chapter 5

__

Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love  
But no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love  
They don't know you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me

Sark slowly sat down, and looked up at Irina expectantly.

"Well? What's your story?" he inquired as he noticed her hesitation.

"I need to ask you some questions first," Irina said. Sark stood up defiantly, taking a step towards her. She moved forward and put a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back to the bed. "I'm not trying to be evasive, Adam, I simply need to find out what you know, or at least what you think you know, before I can adequately answer your questions."

"Fine. What do you want to know?" Irina took a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Before I tell you everything, I want to know what series of events you perceive as being reality." Sark raised his eyebrow at her phrasing, but complied.

"Very well. I don't know everything that happened, I'm quite aware of this fact. But here's what I think: you set it all up." Irina tilted her head warningly, but didn't interrupt. "You and Sydney both wanted to get her out of LA, out of the CIA, and that's something that could never happen so long as she's alive. So, you faked it. All of it, the accident, the phone call- perhaps Agent Weiss was even in on it, he cared about Sydney as well. I'm not sure how you handled providing a body; rather, I have a few thoughts, but I'd rather not get too deep into those. But Sydney's body was positively identified after her apartment fire, yet she turned up quite alive- who's to say it couldn't happen again?

"From there, the two of you split up, though I'm not sure why just yet. I'm also not sure where you went during this time, nor what you did. Sydney, however, came to me. She left a note in my car, knowing I would understand, and then she waited for me in my hotel room. She refused to tell me anything, I can only assume that was on your order, and that's been it." Irina nodded thoughtfully.

"I see. Do you still have the note she left in your car?"

"Yes."

"May I see it?" Sark looked at her suspiciously, but reached for his bag and found the note at the bottom, which he then handed over to her. Irina studied it intently for a few moments before setting it down on the desk. With a sigh, she lowered herself into the chair and looked at Sark carefully. "And you took this note at face value?" Sark thought back to when he'd discovered it.

"I seem to recall finding it odd, but I was more focused on Sydney at the time."

"I see. Now, you said Sydney was in your room when you returned to the hotel?"

"Yes."

"How did she get in?"

"I'm not sure," Sark admitted. "But it's hardly the most difficult place she's ever had to get into."

"Did she have any belongings with her?" Sark gave her a wary glance.

"You're asking a lot of questions, Irina," he said evenly.

"I know," she replied. "But I have to. I can't make sense of anything for you until it all makes sense to me." Sark frowned.

"No, she had nothing."

"And has she changed clothes at all?" Sark blinked, his face contorting as something occurred to him.

"Yes," he said softly. "It seems she has." He locked eyes with Irina, but she said nothing in response.

"And yet she has no luggage with her. Adam, do you see what I'm getting at?"

"No, Irina, I truly don't. Why don't you just tell me straight out? It would make matters much simpler."

"Do you remember when you wouldn't tell Sydney about the time the two of you spent together?" At his nod, she continued. "And do you remember why you wouldn't?"

"Of course; I said if she didn't know it for herself, she'd never believe it."

"Exactly." Sark rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"Fine, I see your point. What else do you wish to know?"

"Has there been anything odd about her since she reconnected with you?"

"A few things, yes, but as I told her, she's not the same person she was when we were together. This could be completely normal for her."

"It's not," Irina said under her breath, earning another glare from Sark. "What about anyone else who may have spoken to her?"

"No one else has, that I've seen," he said thoughtfully. "We haven't encountered many people, but most seem to have ignored her thus far."

"And this doesn't strike you as odd?"

"Yes, it does to some extent."

"Have you and she had any physical contact since she reappeared?" Sark raised an eyebrow.

"Getting a bit personal, aren't we?" Irina glared at him.

"You know that's not what I meant. I'm referring to a hug, a kiss, anything like that."

"No," he replied. "She's still not terribly comfortable, and I'm not about to push things."

"Adam, I know you understand what I'm saying; I can see it. I also understand why you don't want to accept it, but you have to; this isn't something that can be ignored like that."

"No, Irina, I truly don't believe I understand any of what you're trying to communicate. As has been so aptly demonstrated, I'm not the one asking the questions here, you are."

"I'm asking these questions to make you see!" Irina hissed. "Think of what I've asked, and think of your own answers, and tell me honestly that you don't see the truth in them." Sark shook his head defiantly.

"No. No, I refuse to believe that. It's ludicrous, Irina, absolutely absurd."

"But it's true Adam. Yes, it's insane, but it is still-" Sark cut her off sharply.

"No!" he yelled, standing up and crossing the room. He remained with his back towards her, not saying anything else for a long moment. "No, it's not true; I don't know why you're telling me this kind of brutal lie, but she is with me, Irina. Sydney Bristow is alive, and she is with me," he insisted.

"I was _there_, Adam. I saw my daughter die. I held her hand through the pain, and I held her in my arms as she breathed her last. Don't you _dare_ tell me my daughter didn't die that day. I would never make something like this up, you know me well enough to know that." By this point, she was standing by his side, looking at him intently. He'd long since shut his eyes, as if trying to block out her words.

"Adam…" she said softly, reaching for his arm.

"Stop it, just stop it!" Sark batted her hand away and stepped back, and she could finally see the tears as he opened his eyes.

"I know you can't accept this; I never expected you would." She moved over to the desk and picked up a small envelope, which she handed to him.

"What is this?" he whispered. She looked down momentarily, and his anxiety increased.

"Pictures. Proof." Sark stared down at the packet, not opening it. Finally, he looked back up at Irina and shook his head angrily.

"No," he breathed, before turning and launching it across the room, watching impassively as it shattered the lamp on the desk.

As the sound reverberated in his mind, Sark sat straight up in bed, looking around wildly. He glanced over and saw Sydney on the other bed, now sitting up and watching him.

"Dream…" he whispered as his breathing finally slowed to normal.

"Adam?" Sydney questioned.

"I just… I had a very bad dream," he said haltingly.

"A nightmare? About what?" Sark shook his head quickly.

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied sharply, not looking at her.

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

"It's real," Sydney whispered, and he finally faced her.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's real," she repeated.

"I don't understand…"

"Yes you do." She nodded towards the desk, and Sark got out of bed and walked over slowly. His hand shook as he reached for the familiar packet amidst the shattered remains of the broken lamp. He opened the envelope hesitantly and pulled out the pictures. As he looked through them, he rested his free hand on the desk, ignoring the pain as various shards cut into him. Eventually, he could take no more, and shoved the remaining photos back into the envelope.

"How… I thought it was a dream," he said softly, not facing her.

"You hoped it was," she gently corrected. He finally turned to her, rapidly blinking back tears as he realized he was seeing right through her.

"You're in my head," he whispered. She nodded sadly.

"I died, Adam. Look at the note again." He turned back to the desk and reached for the piece of paper. "Really look at it," she stressed. He studied it intently, and felt a jolt as he realized it was his own handwriting, not Sydney's.

"It's one of the notes I left for you."

"Yes."

"No one else sees you… I haven't seen you eat anything. You're in and out of rooms and cars, as if by magic. It wasn't a dream…" With each point Sark made, Sydney seemed to fade more. "Everything was in my head." A solitary tear rolled down her cheek before Sydney shut her eyes and was gone. Sark continued staring at the spot she'd seemingly been standing in before something drew his attention to the corner of the room. There, he saw Irina seated in a chair, watching him in concern.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"So am I," she replied.

"I've lost my mind," he murmured.

"You need to deal with your grief. As much as you don't want to, you have to let her go; that's the only way to recover."

"I'll never recover, Irina. I loved her, so much that I wouldn't let her stay dead. But I know now, I understand that she's truly gone, and that I'll not be getting her back this time. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much, and I know I never will again. Thank you." She frowned in confusion.

"For what?"

"For saving me… from myself." With a light nod, he left the room and went out to sit by the pool.

"Sydney, I don't know if you can hear me right now; if you've been able to see me at all recently, I'm sure you've seen just how pathetic I've become. I can't live without you. I don't know how. Obviously, I now have to figure that out. The only person I have left in my life is Irina, and she's no replacement for you, love. I can't believe I allowed myself to slip like this, Sydney." He shook his head, sighing lightly. "I'm done; I have to let you go now, or I may end up losing my mind all over again. I love you, and I always will. Goodbye, Sydney."

With one brief glance to the sky, Sark drew a calming breath and headed back to his room, prepared to begin another empty life at Irina's side.

_And I can't love you, anymore than I do  
I will die, but real love is forever._


End file.
